Anyhow, now that I got that off my chest.  A lot has happened.  This year has been full of new and wonderful changes.  Since the last time I have posted, my mother came out for an extended visit/left and is returning again (soon I hope), we have moved into the family adobe home, my best friend is getting married, the kidlet is finishing her 5th grade year and the year is only half over.

The biggest of them is…. the move.  Not only are we moving but we’re also renovating The Adobe to have a little more modern upgrades and giving it a lift on life, spirit and family.  Finding it amazing all that can be accomplished if we put our minds to it and just give it a try. By no means are we professionals, though with all the homework, research, questions asked and so on we are definitely learning.  There is for sure some trial and error along the way, making things tend to be more frustrating than I think they should be.  But we’re chugging right along.

The most exciting… my best friend’s wedding.  There are no words that could express how much I love her marrying her fiancée.  She is perfect for him and he for her.  You know that whole sappy “two souls traveling through time, finding each other and becoming one” stuff?  Well… that’s them.  The yin to the yang.  Truly.  It’s been incredibly fun helping her (as much as she’ll allow) make plans, find ideas, etc.  Though I do have the usual feelings of “I wish I could help more.  Do more.  Be there more.”, especially since recently she has been let down by a dear friend.  It still boggles the mind that friend can let another friend down without even taking their feelings to heart.  From what I gather, it wasn’t even in a sensitive “Oh man… I am SO sorry.” kind of way either.  Not cool.  And with that I’m trying very hard to compensate for that ‘loss’ (lack of better working).

The frustration…. this year has been very difficult on the kidlet.  She has had a heck of a time in school.  Between teachers that can’t believe the work she does is her own, her friends becoming untrustworthy and the sheer backstabbing of others, she at one point decided that it wasn’t worth having friends.  Acting out in school, misbehaving in class, not handing in homework, and bringing hostility home and mouthing off, lying, etc.  Both the hubby and I understand that this is a very difficult age but when does it get better?  The choices she has made are her own.  Every day I send her off into the world and hope that she is doing right, making the right choices and it is scaring the hell out of me.  She is a good kid.  A great kid, when she’s on her game.  But I’m starting to feel like I’m losing at this parenting thing.  Feeling every day like I’m failing her as a mom and I know her dad is feeling that way too.  We know she can be on her game and don’t expect her to be perfect.  That’s not fair.  I’m just hoping that with the new switch in schools next year that she’ll de-smudge her view of things and realize that life doesn’t have to be this hard.

The worrisome thing…. my job.  With the direction the economy is taking, there are fewer and fewer consumers purchasing nowadays.  Though my position here has changed “a tad” **sarcasm** my confidence of job security is not completely shot.  It’s more like Jello.  Wiggly and wobbly.  I know that I’m valued here, it’s just complicated.  I still love my job (most days), enjoy my team (what’s left of them) and am very grateful for my awesome boss.  It just worries me sometimes.

Enough blathering on.  That pretty much covers it; however, I do have more posting to do on my “This Old “Dirt” House” site.

Just before Thanksgiving, Jason’s parents and aunt had proposed an offer to us.  One that we honestly could not pass up.  We have been offered to move in and take over residence of Jason’s Grandparents’ home.  This home is incredible in every manner of the word.  It was built in the ’60′s by Jason’s family.  Literally from the ground up.  They made the bricks to make the house.  It is a true and traditional adobe home.

Ultimately, I am planning on creating a blog to show the pit falls and successes of renovating and restoring this home to its truest splendor.  Keeping all of the wonderful family heirlooms intact that we can, there will be some updating, upgrading and some modernizing.  But with as much taste and dignity as we know the home deserves.

So.  Let the blogging begin.  I’ll keep you posted.

Until Later,

~MJ

Mostly it has to do with the separation of family that I tend to feel during this time of year.  My father having been gone almost 12 years now.  My family having not celebrated any of the holidays together since the death of my Uncle Bob, just 5 years after my father died.  And also the fact that my mother is so far away.

There are times I feel that I have the opportunity to sit and contemplate ideas and ponder on things entirely too much.  The  45 minute commute to and from work everyday tends to allow for such time to be available.  One day while I was driving home I had one of those “Isn’t it weird how life works?” moments.  I reminisced about the first 5 years of my marriage to Jason and all the holidays passed… and realized that for the first 5 years we made memories with my family; where everything is just anecdotes to his.  Now, for the last 6 years those roles have changed.  Though it’s wonderful to make all these new memories… I find it a little heartbreaking as well.

I miss my mother terribly and really wished that she was here to make memories with; which then turns into missing my Aunt Stella, Uncle Harry, my dad, Uncle Bob, Grandma…. and the list goes on and on.  After all of this, I think I now know why I have been the “bah-hub-bug” that I had been (especially the past week).  I miss my family.  I miss my old traditions.  I miss the new traditions that I had started to create.

No worries, though.  I will have them back soon enough.  In the meantime, I am good.  I am loved.  And I love in return.

To all those celebrating Christmas or any other holiday…  I hope it was full of love.

Until Later~
~MJ

Today, as the two of them begin their morning together, they celebrate 4 years of beginning the day together as man and wife.  Unable to be there and celebrate this occasion with them, I wish to request an everso cheesy song to send them my love and adoration for them.

Gabe-ster and Donna-face….. here is my request and dedication:

Love you guys!

I remember sitting and listening to the lead-ins and drop-offs of each song, the entertaining way both Rick & Casey would hold your attention making every song sound just as awesome as the next.  Most of all, I remember Casey Kasum’s Special Request and Dedications, knowing that the upcoming story would be one of heart wrenching love and adoration for someone very important.  I’m not going to lie, many times I wrote letters requesting songs for my mom or my dad or even for that boy I had a crush on… thinking at the time it was just as wonderful a story as the one being broadcasted.  But…. mine were never read.

Now that I have a piece of the internet all to myself, I have decided that I’m going to do my own “Dear Mr. Kasum,”… and so it begins with the next post.  Should you have a request and dedication, please post to me your “letter” and the song you wish to request with the subject line “Dear Mr. Kasum,”.  The requests don’t have to be one of love or adoration, it can simply be of frustration, or even silliness.

You know where to find me

So this request and dedication goes out to all my girls:

Thanks Aaron for sharing!  :)

I wonder if he would notice if I took a look.  Probably, but this is still interesting.

It really did remind me of the days when I was 6 years old, going bowling with my parents, playing Centipede with every quarter I could get out of my mom, drinking Shirley Temples and belting this song out.  Ahhhh…. those were the days.  I miss being a kid.

Thanks Cpt Jay!